Seven years ago I met a stranger on the internet claiming they grew up across the river from my hometown. With both of us living two states away from our native area it seemed too surreal to believe. I suspected them a stalker so I put them through the ringer and asked all kinds of questions about their so called "hometown". Sure enough, they passed with flying colors and I agreed to meet them in person.
We met at a tiny hipster restaurant with a chalkboard menu written on the wall. We were seated across the room from the menu and I remembering barely being able to read it with my new contact prescription. So I asked my date if he could make it out any better and he proudly claimed that he couldn't since he was as blind as a bat even with contacts / glasses.
The conversation unfolded over three hours as dozens of small plates we consumed. As evening turned to night and the sun began to set we decided since the conversation was flowing naturally we should take a walk across the roundabout where the eatery was established for a view of the river falls. Before we made it too far it started raining and we took shelter in the entryway of a parking garage.
I bet you can guess what happened next.
Yup, my date nerded-out about his love of entertainment wrestling and I nerded-out about yoga asanas, getting on the ground to show him wheel pose while getting my shorts completely filthy.
Seven years ago we would have never imagined ourselves where we are today.
We're back in our home state celebrating our two year wedding anniversary today (just 3 days shy of our "met-you-versary.")
It poured on our wedding day. The heavens opened up in mockery and said "Sure, you can have a nice soggy outdoor ceremony, no problem, we got you". Our groomsmen tried their best to keep the chairs wiped down but at some point we all knew it was futile.
Blessings to our photographer and his assistant for documenting every last raindrop on our special day | © Flax Studios
I had heard a couple things about rain on your wedding day.
That it's ironic
That it's good luck
It was both actually. It was ironic that after spending months planning an outdoor event (we did have a barn and a tent so not all was lost, I am a stubborn & luxurious Taurus after all), it would just so happen to rain. But, as luck would have it, after the vows and our walk down the isle as Mr. & Mrs. the clouds parted and the sun shone down like a freaking fairytale.
The perfect day | © Flax Studios
His hair curls in the rain the same way it did the first day I met him | © Flax Studios
I still have a habit of getting my clothes dirty while having too much fun | © Flax Studios
I love looking back on these photos to remember when life used to be so simple, so carefree and really really happy. We were so naive in thinking our family would grow and we would have lots of adventures with the children we were ready to bring into this world.
Life is different now living side by side with infertility.
Carefree is just a brand of panty liner I see every month on the shelf as I stock up for my next cycle.
Cycle after cycle after cycle.
The days are long and lonely.
The weeks are long and tiresome.
The years are long and isolating.
We've explored our options for growing our family. We've spent months getting ready for what our next steps will look like. So many conversations about how the nursery will look. So many hours spent budgeting down to the last penny to make our dreams come true. So many dreary days where it just feels like my reproductive organs are raining on our fairytale. So many doubtful dark nights when it just doesn't feel like the odds are in our favor.
We've thought it out, fought it out and now we just feel down and out.
Here we are in the middle of a pandemic watching from afar as our friends and families have babies and go on adventures. The adventures we dream of.
We are literally isolated from participating in what we are still so far removed from.
We're hoping that one day we'll be through this storm on the other side with sunny blue skies.
I hate to say it...but it's a little ironic, don'tcha think?
Fact: It is impossible to stay sad, mad or lonely while in the company of this nugget of love
Special thanks to James at Flax Studios for the cherished memories we will have forever | flaxstudios.com